Mans Ona Budget, *MOB* for life. In your first year of uni you normally find yourself in halls. Due to my parents income, student finance wasn’t very nice to me. My maintenance loan was at the minimum and grants were a myth. My parents didn’t give me any regular pocket money but they paid for my accommodation so everything was cool. I figured as long as am careful, I can just about go through the whole semester. You see in first year when you make plans for your money, you think partying, books, events, society sign ups, things you need in the house, them creps or new jacket your saving up for and most importantly food. I say that’s a reasonable list, add a little extra for emergency money and everything is pretty much covered right? Wrong. I tell you what ate me alive in first year, It were these minor but regular expenses that just didn’t have to be there. I’m talking transport, barbers and the goddam laundry. I thought my budget was made but these expenses told me that i wasn’t on the level of *MOB*.
When it came to haircuts I was never a flashy person. I always got a regular level one and shape up. Its such an easy cut, I’d get it almost twice a month (first year first impression gotta look on point) paying the top price the same as a guy that gets a mowhawk with all the extra fading involved. This was just copping my money without me thinking bout it. My father for many years was cutting my hair when I was young and he did a cool job. I’ve been doing my own shape up since secondary school. I’ve watched a guy give himself a haircut before. There was no question about it *MOB* I stole my dads clippers in the holiday and started barbing my own hair. I practiced during the winter exams where nobody was hanging out together and it was ok to wear a hat all just incase i flopped It was great I only ever flopped once cos i was watching tv and i laughed and jerked my hand. Saving money, staying in my room not waiting in a queue, it was all good. I decided i won’t tell anyone either not till they compliment the haircut. I know if I come out and say i did it myself, everyone will put on their simon cowell critic hats and start trying to see whats wrong with it. I remember at the first drink up after exams I walked into the room and blake shouted “yo nneji is that you with the fresh trim yeah?” All the other blakes joined in and were hailing me shouting “jheez (high pitch)” and “man like”. blake started doing the shape up angles. it was compliment galore all round. I was like “obviously obviously, for the ladies init don’t watch” I was gassed. It didnt mean my haircut was that special ( blakes will always cheer on a decent haircut), but it did mean i passed with flying colours. I gave them the big reveal as i told them this trim was self made. the look of awe the look of amaze to them it was unbelievable. I was now a confident self barber, blake was saying how i could make money cutting peoples hair but i ignored that premise completely. Us black people and are hair ooooooo if you fuck up a black guys hair you are a dead man. I hadnt practiced on another person so who will be my first lool, defo a good idea but it aint happening.
It was the next end of term, lectures were over people were partying going home or studying and my haircut was due. I also had a blake all the way from his uni up north visiting and staying at mine for the weekend. it was early afternoon and we were defo clubbing that night. We were chilling in the room and i whipped out my clippers. I remember seeing him smile and shake his head not believing that i was actually about to cut my hair to save money or summink. 30mins later I was done and was packing up I turned to blake and saw him staring at me like i just struck gold. He was so amazed, I was feeling gassed as he complemented it and compared it to a £10 cut till he popped the question. How? how did he pop the question with no hesitation. He did it with a look in his eye that said he’s serious. He wanted me to cut him too. He was willing to be my guinea pig. he figured its harder to cut your own hair so his will be just as good maybe even better. At first I was stressing thinking thats way too much pressure but then i thought bring it on. I sterilised my two clippers (xtra one for shape up) in vodka and went ham on his head. I felt like doctor in surgery but i had no nurse to towel my forehead. I remember seeing a lil blood at one spot while I did his shape up and thinking err hopefully that’s normal lool. When I was done he was happy and he bought me a drink later. I now had someone to vouch for me and I’d been cutting other blakes once in a while ever since.
Sometimes I think about life as a barber telling jokes n stories by the tv as you cut hair. I might take it on as a side job if possible